I Wasn't Kissing Her, I Swear!
by Serami Nefera
Summary: On Percy Jackson's report card it mentions that Percy kept putting Clarisse' head in the barbecue pit. What happened to make Percy put Clarisse' head in the pit?  Warning: characters may be OOC and their is fluff and some Percabeth.


**I Wasn't Kissing Her, I Swear!**

Summary: On Percy Jackson's report card it mentions that Percy kept putting Clarisse' head in the fire pit. What happened to make Percy put Clarisse' head in the fire pit?

Disclaimer: I do not own the series Percy Jackson and the Olympians; Rick Riordan does.

Around a huge fire reclined the campers of Camp Halfblood; trading tales of battles and heroics. Smores were heated over the bonfire as the stories went on and on. Connor told a tale of one of their pranks on the Aphrodite cabin in which they stole all of their clothes from them. They waxed eloquently on how the stunned children of Aphrodite had tried to sneak around in their sheets. Except somehow the Satyrs were aware of the fact that the children of Aphrodite had no clothes…

The campers roared with laughter at the mental image of the unlucky campers fleeing a herd of Satyrs who wanted to see them naked. The Aphrodite children glared at Connor and swore to get vengeance for such a horrible prank.

Then Clarisse stepped forward to tell the campers a tale of her choosing. She eyed Percy and Annabeth with cruel sadistic joy. She told the tale of how the two of them had accidentally been kissing in front of Athena when she was visiting.

"Percy and Annabeth were at the lake and the two of them were enjoying a nice kiss after having gone swimming. Annabeth must have forgotten that her mother was visiting this day to see the blueprints for New Olympus… When Athena saw them kissing she pulled out her spear and threw it at Percy!" Clarisse said with a smirk as she recalled it. She had been endeavoring to improve at her canoeing skills… she was still having difficulties and Mr. D was threatening to have her spend a week with only Percy as company! A fate more horrible than death for any child of Ares.

"You should have seen him… Percy ran screaming for his life with Athena on his tale trying to get vengeance on him for 'seducing her daughter so vilely'…" Clarisse said as she mimicked horribly Athena's angered words. Her eyes danced with a malicious smile as she saw Percy blushing furiously.

Clarisse stood as she mimicked Percy's pleading expression when he had faced Athena, "Percy cried, please Lady Athena! Don't kill me! I did not mean to kiss her… I have a good reason for doing it! I swear it!"

Percy hunkered down in his seat and muttered softly to himself that sounded like 'worse than Kronos when she's mad…' His face was beat red and Annabeth was looking towards the ground so that her red face could not be seen either.

"So what did Athena do? She looked at Percy with anger and demanded that he explain then how it came to be that she came and found _him_ kissing her _daughter_? Demanding that he better have a good reason or she was going to give him the worse torture he had ever felt in his entire life… she was going to make him read an entire 900 page book in English and have him write a hundred page paper on the book in eleven font, Times New Roman…"

Percy fingered Riptide in his pocket and mumbled something about 'she is a monster…' It was hard to know exactly who Percy was calling the 'monster', was it Clarisse or Athena?

Annabeth shivered in sympathy at the torment of reading an entire book in English. She glanced over at Percy and stifled a chortle. Percy's face was redder then the strawberries and his sea-green eyes were nearly glowing in anger.

Clarisse leaned forward and said in a near whisper, "So Percy told Athena…" Her eyes looked at Annabeth and Percy again with cruel glee as Percy clenched his teeth in frustration.

"I am so sorry, Athena…" She said with an expression of mock terror, "Annabeth went swimming alone in the lake and nearly drowned! I was just doing CPR! I wasn't _kissing _her I _swear_!"

The campers laughed at the mental image it evoked, Percy on his knees pleading to Athena desperately. Clarisse grinned more broadly at the evident enjoyment of her fellow campers and at the love birds' embarrassment. Clarisse laughed as she said, "Then Annabeth came and…"

Finally Percy snapped and attacked Clarisse with a blast of water from the lake. Clarisse was knocked down head first into the barbeque pit and held Riptide at her throat as she lay in the barbeque pit. Her eye bright with shock and unease at Percy's angered eyes; they looked like the sea in stormy weather.

"Complete this story and I will tell them about the chariot incident…" He threatened; reminding her about the time he had helped her to reclaim her father's war chariot from her immortal siblings.

Clarisse paled even more and swallowed nervously, "Fine…"

Percy than released her and went back towards Annabeth who smiled at him thankfully. "Thanks for stopping her from saying anything about what I did…"

Percy smiled at her with love and whispered back to her, "She can talk about me… but I will kick her butt if she ever embarrasses you, Wise Girl."

Annabeth smiled back and the two of them sat back down to cook more smores up. The campers looked at each other questioningly. The questions that filled their minds were: what did Annabeth do and what is the chariot incident?

**FIN**

Note: The 'chariot incident' can be read in _The Demigod Files_, a book with short stories made by Rick Riordan.


End file.
